I guess heartbreak is a part of farming....

I guess things had been going too well this year that it was bound to happen that we would have a run of bad luck.  First Pan (one of Amethyst's bucklings) died.  The vet tried everything, but couldn't save him.

I will miss this sweet baby.

Then I got sick and had a health scare (turned out to be a lab error at my annual wellness check and I'm fine, but it was terrifying).  Then I thought things were getting better because Big Mama's due date was fast approaching....

I don't even remember if I mentioned on the blog that she was pregnant.  I was keeping it on the down low because I didn't know if she would take.  Big Mama was a show goat in her younger years and was never bred.  If goats aren't bred within their first two years they get cystic ovaries and have trouble getting pregnant.  We worked with the vet and did a hormone treatment on her and to our extreme happiness she got pregnant.  We were super excited about her kids because she was our best doe.  She had the traditional purebred Boer looks and her genetics would add a lot to our breeding program.

She went into labor and I actually made it home from work in time to witness it.  I was so excited!!  Then she had her first kid and the little doeling was stillborn.  She was born breech and from what we can gather the bag burst and she drowned while in the birth canal.  I was heartbroken!  My mind immediately went to worst case scenario and I started thinking she would have all stillborn kids, that she had some disease that was causing late term abortions, etc.

 Giving a big push while in labor.

 Thankfully she had two more healthy kids.

 The dark headed one is a buckling and the blonde one is a doeling (those blonde genes are strong with Jasper offspring).  I was so happy I was bawling my eyes out.  Big Mama was understandably freaked out during labor because it was her first time, but she accepted our comforting and did such an amazing job.  As soon as she started cleaning the kids and the oxytocin kicked in she was so, so happy.  She talked to her kids and cleaned them.  It was amazing seeing what a natural mother she was.  She truly earned the name she was given by her previous owner.  Big Mama.  I had wanted to change it because I thought the name was dumb, but right at the moment it did suit her.

Unfortunately a day later things went horribly wrong.  She came down with pneumonia and after four days of around the clock care we lost her.  We did everything we could including IV fluids.  I'm bawling now while writing this and it's been almost two weeks.  Losing Pan, then the stillborn doeling and then Big Mama all in a row like that was really, really hard.  It made me want to give up on raising goats, but Big Mama's sweet kids have kept me going.  We're having to bottle feed them which is absolutely exhausting, but it's worth it.  They are amazing.  I'll share more pictures of them in another less sad post so you all can enjoy them.

Until then, here are pictures of Pan and Big Mama.  I will miss them both so much.

Ignore how filthy she was.  That was molasses all over her face and body.

She was looking so good after her diet last winter.

Now that you're caught up on the bad news... the coming up posts will be happy.  You're going to melt when you see her sweet kids.